London Is Calling And I Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiive By The River!

Heya!

I chose this title because I do live by the river!!! See, that's my window! Right there. 

Hahaha. 

Obviously, this isn't my picture below but I'll get some soon. I went out for one and went to Bushy Park instead.

Okay so, shockingly enough, the weather had been amazing here. The last few days we've gotten a lot of sun and it hasn't really rained for about a week. Sprinkles a bit on Saturday but that doesn't count. I do feel like this winter is going to be freezing though since the weather has been so not-London.

I had my first course yesterday! Critical Challenges, which is just a super polite way of saying Literary Theory, is geared more towards using the models and principles of theory to discover more about our own work. Of course we have to analyze other peoples work first. Super boo.

I've taken the course before and I struggled. Like really struggled. But to be honest it was during a horrible period in my life. So I'm not too worried about this go around. I keep saying it's going to be really hard but to be honest I remember a lot from the last time so I think I can survive, and maybe thrive this time around.

My seminar leader for the course is, dun dun duhhhhhhn, the course director. He seems super helpful and really nice so I'm sure I'll be fine.

I have my first workshop class tomorrow and that means I'm going to be writing and getting down to business. So, I made sure I got some sightseeing out of the way before I have to get down with the get down.

This weekend, even though I was battling a cold, I wanted to be sure that I went out and enjoyed the town because the weather was so great and I had no idea when it was going to go bad again.

I traveled around on the Tube a bit and went to a couple of different stations and attractions. Here's a few photos, more can be found to the right under the PHOTOS link. Or HERE for the lazy.

Jubilee Gardens

A beautiful photo bought from a vendor on the Westminister Bridge

Badass Collection of items lost in London spanning hundreds of years.

I also did a ton of exploring today of Hampton Park Palace and Bushy Park (which is the area around, or really leading up to the Palace).

The park is literally across the street from my place and is massive. I took a lot of photos, seeing deer and geese and lots of green everywhere.

For those who love history -> WIKI.

Here's a quick list of a few people who lived in this MASSIVE palace:
-Cardinal Woolsey
-Anne Boleyn
-King Henry VIII
-Catherine Howard
-Jane Seymour (died there after giving birth to Edward VI, the younger brother of Bloody Mary I and only male heir to Henry VIII)
-James I (he commissioned the King James version of the bible within the palace)

I had a ton of fun wandering around and seeing all of this stuff. I still can't believe that I walked across the same grounds as a lot of really popular figures in history.

And to add to that, the size of this place is unreal. The diameter of the park, which is what I walked among wiggling in and around is seven miles. Wow!

Now it's time for my fun facts!!!

Fun Fact #1

• Did you know that UK spiders are fucking GIANT. I was walking along my merry way to school following the river and BAM huge spider right in front of my face. Natrually, I freaked out and almost lost my shit in front of women walking their babies. But I kept my cool and siddled towards the road. I could feel the cars zooming past me but I kept seeing spider after spider, bigger and bigger until I saw a MASSIVE three inch one outside of school. I'm definitely never leaving my window open at night

Fun Fact #2

• No jaywalking rules here! Which means there's a whole different type of pedestrian here in the UK. They walk when the coast seems clear and are oblivious to the horns of cars that had to stop on a dime so these fools didn't become a part of the pavement. They cross horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. It's a mess. 

Fun Fact #3

• And speaking of horns, I don't think I have ever met a group of people who use their horns more than Brits. And I've spent an exorbitant amount of time in Los Angeles traffic. These driver have LA beat by miles. Even though the lanes here are REALLY narrow (one on each side) they have no problem swerving into the opposite lane to get around a stopped car or a bicycle. It makes me cringe, it really does. Overall, it's definitely going to take some getting used to but I haven't seen anybody having an accident so i guess it may be crazy but it works.

Shopping!!

I've been shopping a few times now and I still have to get used to the way that Brits shop. They get things as they need them, weekly or sometimes daily. I'm so used to living in the boonies and barely going to the store that I still find myself going for canned or dry food versus fresh. I'm getting used to it since I literally pass like ten supermarkets on the way home every day.

A List of Things I Can't Find:

I'll probably add this to the right side as well when it gets bigger but here's a list of the scarcities here:

Oreos

Skippy Peanut Butter

Rubbing Alcohol

Capn Crunch

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Garnier Fructis Leave In

Tapatio

Ranch Dressing

Most American Chips (minus Nacho Cheese Doritos)

They do eat some pretty weird things but something that I thoroughly disapprove of? Vinegar.

Vinegar on fish and chips and not just that put EVERYTHING is pickled here (which means everything is soaked in vinegar). Blech. Double blech. I can't even. No. Hahaha. I don't even put vinegar on my collard greens haha.

None of this has stopped me from making delicious food for me and Urbain. I throw down in the kitchen regardless of strange ingredients and Oreo withdrawals.

But besides all of this I've settled in very well and I'm excited to see what the term holds for me. I hope you all are doing well. As you can see on my wall I have photos of lots of you on my wall as a reminder of all the great times I've had. I know lots of you would love to be here with me but you're here in spirit.

Until Next Time.
ciao.

Landed and Other Misadventures

Let us begin the blog with a very American saying:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Okay, finished? I'm not. Anyways, let us dish! So, so, soooooo much to talk about! Okay, first.

Saying goodbye sucks.

Even if it's a see you soon it still takes a piece of your heart and stomps all over it. As I was standing in the TSA line it really hit me that that last sight of my parents and my sister as I was going up the escalator would be the last I'd have in a while. Not a great feeling, but I pulled it together quickly. Especially since the TSA guys wanted me to get my laptop out of my way overweight carry on.

Plane Tip #1

• Put your laptop in a super accessible place. As as a matter of fact just hold it as you go through security and check in. If you don't they have to completely pull apart your bag and take it out. Then they have to go back and rescan your stuff leaving you to wait behind a line of about fifteen other people in your socks while you hold the boots there is no way you're putting back on. Then you have to completely rearrange your bag because Mr. TSA messed it up. 

Went to the duty free store, it was meh. Got a sandwich and skyped my parents while I waited at the airport. Plenty of folks around so use headphones. Otherwise it's just awkward.

Plane Tipe #2

• LAX has free wifi for forty five minutes. You're welcome. 

Virgin Atlantic is amazing. What more could you ask for? Free booze, a small little pillow, a blanket, eyemask, toothbrush, and did I mention free booze? The seats were a bit small but I managed fine. 

I sat next to a lovely woman who let me switch seats with her so I could look out of the windows. I also got this great aisle space to pull down my bag so I could dive in whenever I needed to. Fully recommend sitting in the back aisles where there's two seats a row. 

When we began to pull off from LAX the only thought that occupied my head was "the is the craziest fucking thing I have ever done. What am I doing?" Then we were in the air. The pilot did this low flying loop of LA and I looked out over the Pacific Ocean and the beautiful California coast. 

Then we were ascending. Inside the clouds. A bit more pressure and we were coasting above them. Tips of mountains were there, crests above a luminous cloud covering as we evened out. As the plane balanced I felt all of my worries and fears disappear. Vanish as though they were never even there to begin with. There was nothing left after that but this tranquil sense of serenity.

Hangover 3, Star Trek 2, and some Melody Gardot and Puccini later we were landing and I got my first sense of London. The pilot did this beautiful slow sweep over London letting all of us see the sights before landing at Heathrow. The Home Office line was super slow but once I got through I was treated with a beautiful, beautiful sight. 

Two cops wandering around the Arrivals area. How is this different than at LAX? Well these cops had three guns on them. A standard issue strapped  to the outer thigh. One pistol on a clip on the waistband. And, last but certainly not least, a HUGE AK-47 slung across the chest, palm resting against the handles as they meandered around. Wait, what?

By this time I was highly sleep deprived and had almost been up 24 hours but when the girl next to me uttered, "What the hell?" I knew I wasn't dreaming. They really had AK-47s draped casually over their chests. Wow.

So after that me and the girl started talking and during the three hour wait for the coach bus we all kept each other busy. 

By the time I finally made it to my dorm it was almost 7pm. 

I was STARVING, CRANKY, and really really TIRED but I made it. I grabbed food and knocked out for almost 14 hours straight. It was NICE.

Tuesday was full of mundane things like paperwork and wandering to the store. I won ten pounds on a game and also talked with a ton of folks while getting stuff done. I'll come back to the shopping a bit, but let's  move to Wednesday. 

Orientation at 9:30. I know, eww, right? Got there on time. Didn't start until around 11. Noticing the pattern here? Regardless of the speeches and boring bits the highlight was definitely the super cool icebreaker where they were trying to call out people's home countries. It was super cool to see how many different places all have people here. From Jordan to Canada to the Islands to Chile to Sierra Lione, There were tons. 

Though there was a great moment when there were tons of folks still standing and the coordinator waved towards these ethnic girls and said "I hope this isn't a small Afircan country, here." Me and this girl from Portland just looked at each other like, Oh no she didn't. hahahaha. They were from Jamaica, by the way. 

I opted for no Kingston tour because I'd already given myself a tour while I was lost and shopping the day before. I just went to the IT guy to get my laptop looked at. He told me the port was broken and he couldn't do anything. 

He recommends a local guy down the street who then charged me 35 pounds ($55 for my American friends) to update my drivers. MY FREAKING DRIVERS. That's a ten minute, maximum, job you freaking jerk! He had already fixed it even though he said we'd talk price BEFORE he did so so I gave him the money and walked away fuming mad.

You would never, in a million years, guess what happened next. 

Nope, your guess is wrong. 

I ran across two American Mormon missionaries. 

They stopped me and we just sat there talking for about ten minutes. I told them how I have friends doing their missions now as well and they were super nice and really down to earth. Then they prayed with me. Yes, I don't like organized religion but if someone is willing to pray for you then it's great to take whatever good will they're offering. You may not believe in their religion but positive energy is positive energy. 

After I walked away from them I felt so much better. I wasn't angry anymore and as much as I hated that little rat-faced jerkoff I was fine. I then went to the pub and had two pints of Stella with my flatmate, Urbain (super adorable, blonde Swiss guy who is unbelievable awesome and has the cutest boyfriend that I get to meet next week).

Okay, no we're getting to this weeks lessons. Each week I will hopefully have new lessons and stuff I've learned since I've been here to share with you all.

Lesson #1

• Temporary debit card? Yeah. Right. They don't do that here. They also don't do Debit/Credit cards so always come with extra cash and be ready to wait a while before you get your cell and and bank account set up.

Lesson #2

• VAT Tax. It's a 20% mark up on products. It's stakced into the prices so it makes it seem like you're spending a done of cash when really it's about the same amount as in the States, you just have a higher tax rate.

Lesson #3

• American Pizza Hut and Dominos. The catch? It's a bit more expensive buuuut they're huge classy restaurants. I wandered in after my two pints of Stella and I thought I was lost. I was a bit drunk and obviously entertaining because the manager gave me some free soda and was totally chatting me up. NICE. Guess he like girls that giggle to themselves and look like loons. 

Lesson #4

• No free water of free condiments with your food? You mean I just spent 6 pounds on Haddock and you won't even give me free tartar suace? How. Dare. You.

Lesson #5

• The @ key is in the place of ; and the £ key is above the 2. I screwed up my email every time I had to type it.

Lesson #6

• Walking? Sure. It's only a mile to campus. That's fine. Umm, I didn't factor in the fact that I would have to often walk back and forth, back and forth for things in town, things I needed from my room... My poor little feeties. Hahaha. It's just something I have to get used to. I could take the bus but walking is the best way of getting used to the town. Plus, I get to look out at the Thames as I cross the bridge every day. Worth it. 

In blue is how I try to walk down and yellow is how, no matter what, I always end up getting back hahaha.

Lesson#7

• Bruises. Brusies everywhere. If you're carrying twenty pound bags in each hand for a mile you're gonna have a bad time. You'll also get some guy who's twenty years older than you insisting on helping you carry your bags and being really really friendly. Let him carry some bags but make sure he knows his charm isn't going to get him anywhere.

All in all I'm having a great time. It's rained every day since I've been here and I've literally only seen the sun for 10 minutes in the past 5 days but what can you do. I feel like I'm forgetting some things, but that's to be expected. I've experienced so much in such a short time. And I haven't even gone into central London yet! 

Horsies every morning!

The Bridge from my room.

My View!

I'm almost sorted, I've got my bank done, the shopping is almost done as well. I just need to get some pans and my mobile and i'll be free! Haha. Still weirded out that they don't do wifi here as much as we do in America but it's cool.

Anyways, I'm off to mingle at the halls BBQ down stairs. 

Cheers!


edit:

 MY ADDRESS (if you're interested)

Amanda McWhorter

Kingston Bridge House - 4C4

Church Grove

Hampton wick

Kingston Upon Thames (London)

Surrey

KT1 4AG

United Kingdom 

Home Stretch!

Here we are. 

Seven days until I leave for London.

My bags are packed (well, almost...). Clothes are really heavy, I've learned. 

We're going to do some Saturday night dinner out. Knowing my family they're going to try to get me drunk. Uh-oh. 

According to the weather there is a 80% chance that it's going to be raining when I arrive. A very welcome break from this SoCal heat, let me tell you. I've been dying in this 85-90+  weather.

Making some lists of what I need to buy when I arrive and what can wait.

I still haven't decided on a bank but I know I'm getting my cell with O2. I can tether and have unlimited internet. Nice. 

I have about two weeks to get over my jet lag and get my tourist on before I start the term. I'll have plenty to do between now and then. They've made sure of it.



Still, I wish I could stow my dogs away.












I think the little demons would enjoy frolicking around.











But alas, they have to stay here. With everyone else. The nieces are getting used to the idea of me leaving, but they don't like it. Who else is going to watch The Wiz and Lion King with them? Maybe they can come visit and we can go see The Lion King on the West End if they come to visit. 

I'm really excited but I'm so used to the wait that I'm not sure how I'll feel when I finally get on the plane. It's strange. Months in planning and now it's literally seven days away. 

The only thing I'm not excited about at this point is having to take this literary theory course. But if I take it now and get it out of the way I'll really be able to enjoy myself. Just got to get it done I suppose. Blech. 

Guess I better go start rereading the Beginning Theory by Barry. Gotta love crossover course materials. 

-Amanda

Snaily Paperwork and the Disappearing Stress

Hi Friends!

I've been quiet, I know. Lo siento para mis suckiness. 

I am here to give you some updates. 

July was a wonderful and stressful month. On one hand I had a fabulous 4th with family and crazy fireworks. There were over fifty people in our house and a giant cake. Fun times ensued including my uncle lighting a bag of fireworks on fire and literally lighting the entire street on fire and almost killing the whole family in one go. 

I felt incredibly humbled that they all came to see me off and I got the normal overwhelming feeling of all of us together at once. It was amazing. 

The stress came from paperwork. And MORE paperwork. August was the month of hurry up and wait for school things. It was a bit of a challenge not to lose my mind with the time difference but I guess that's just a part of the "studying abroad" territory. 

I had to really stay on top of the financial aid and CAS people to be sure I didn't fall through the cracks. The waiting was the worst. I would get up at 7 my time, 3pm theirs, and get the paperwork to them as quickly as I could and spend 24 hours waiting to see if I screwed it up. So exciting (/s).

Once I got that done and I fixed a snafu with a letter that had to be the original for my visa application I did my fingerprints and got the whole application together. It was a confusing process but at the end of the day I sent off the application, appendix 8, my passport, biometrics confirmation, a passport photo, CAS number, transcripts, and proof of my bank account balances. 

I waited in trepidation for a week and just got the confirmation that my visa has been approved! So if it wan't official before it is now. Plane ticket: Check. Housing: Check. Visa: Check. School Paperwork: Check. Space Bags: Check. Blasting RENT and singing at the top of my lungs: CHECK. 

So when I woke up this morning and was greeted by that fabulous email saying my visa has been awarded it was like a big bucket of "holy shit this is really happening" was dumped on me. My excitement ratcheted up and all of my anxieties and stress from getting all of this perfect evaporated. Everything is ready.

In other news:

Didn't get any scholarships (boooooo!). Now I'm just kind of sitting around and thinking about what I need to to pack and/or buy before I leave so I'm not stressed when I arrive.

New Blog layout!!! Simple and a lot cleaner. I also added some music on the side. An eclectic mix of craziness... Just like me! Will probably change when I get there. 

The plane doesn't have any electric plugs. Disappointment. Guess the little folks in economy don't matter. Double boo. Buuut I do get some free booze. Dunno how I feel about getting intoxicated at 40,000 feet but we shall see. 

School will be picking me up from the airport. Super snazzy. We will also have a bunch of events including seeing WICKED (for 15 pounds!) and seeing Midsummer at the FREAKING GLOBE (for 5 pounds). Excuse me while I freak about that. Holy smokes. 

Figuring our mobile providers and which bank to go with is so ridiculous. So is the life of an adult I guess. 

I'm staying at a dorm that is close to the center of Kingston and literally is right on the Thames (that I have to cross every day). There is a pub across the street and a Chinese food place down the street. 

And last but not least, I get to take a foreign language course for free since I'm a postgrad. Should I parle français? or sprechen in Deutsch? I am thinking parlare italiano or يتكلم العربية.

Decisions, decisions.

Until next time,
Amanda

77 Days

Due to the obnoxious time difference between the US and the UK it's been a bit difficult talking with the school. Fortunately they saw this coming and prepared something special for their US students. 

A few days ago there was a chat that took place at 8am PST where Kingston invited all of us coming from America to ask questions with representatives from the department. It gave us time to ask our Financial, social, and housing questions as well as any we had for specific teachers. 

I met a lot of different creative folks while getting all of my burning questions answered with the two hour period. As it turned out, one of the professors answering questions was the Principal Lecturer for Creative Writing.

Nuts, right!? 

So I was asking her anything I could think of and soon the chat was over. But she gave me her personal email address so I can draft a personal email to her about the program as a whole. 

Really exciting stuff. 

It was good to able to immerse myself in learning more about Kingston while at the same time being able to glimpse a bit of the information that is sure to swamp me when I go in for Orientation the day after I arrive. Yeah, I don't even get time to relax and get over being jet lagged. I wonder if they'll mind me conked out and snoring while in the queue (see, I feel more British already!).

In other news, I've been spending more time with my babies.

I wish I could take my little obnoxious buttfaces with me, but I don't think my flatmates would appreciate yapping terriers begging for scraps every second of the day. I'm really going to miss them, though. I'm like the mama bear that takes care of them. I keep their food full and play soccer with them. I wash them. 

And I love them with all of my squishy heart. 

It's going to be hard being away from them for so long, but my family will take care of them.

Also, I have yet to tell my nieces that I'm leaving. They are under the impression that I live here and I've moved for good. If they thought me living "in the mountains" was far then they are going to be in for a shock. I have been showing them some random pictures of the UK so I can explain exactly where I'm going when I do tell them. 

A part of me wants to be positively sure that I'm leaving first (not even the devil could stop me, honestly) and part of me just doesn't want to see their faces when it sinks in that I'm leaving again and they'll not see me for a while. 

We're also having a going away party/ 4th of July bash with my entire family. Yes, almost all of my family will be in one room. This hasn't happened in over a decade. Shit is gonna get crazy. As much as I'd love to include an invite to my friends there is no way I'd want them to hang out with my family. 

If they think I'm loud they don't know the definition of the word... 

More to come soon, friends!

Funding Woes

This blog is going to be a bit different than the last two.

Since I've been accepted I've been on the hunt for scholarships and grants, but have yet to receive any. Time is starting to dwindle down and I'm still actively on the hunt.

But even with a hefty savings and loans from the Department of Ed I'm still running a bit short on cash. [it doesn't help that the the current exchange rate between dollars and pounds means that every dollar is only 66 pence (cents)].

So I came up with a brilliant idea and I need your help! Below you'll find a GoGetFunding*** for my trip.

If you can afford to donate to me I would really appreciate it.

I do have some clever rewards for those that are helping!

Anything helps! I really do mean that!

http://gogetfunding.com/project/fund-amanda-s-ma-in-creative-writing-in-london


Thanks :) So much.

*** The GoGetFunding is now closed. Donations are still being accepted via paypal at the email address amanda.mj.mcwhorter@gmail.com***

A Leap Is All It Takes

One of the first things that I hear from people when I tell them about my plans for Grad School is "wow, that's so far away, are you scared?"

I'm nervous, yes. Anyone flying halfway around the world to be in a new place would be nervous, but I've been there before.

When I graduated high school I chose a school almost a hundred miles away from Long Beach. I didn't have a car and I didn't know a soul. Not one person. I was 17 and scared out of my mind, but I succeeded, some would say I overdid it.

Four years later I couldn't walk around campus without stopping and saying HI to several people and having an animated conversation, much to the chagrin of anyone who walked with me anywhere (sorry friends!).

I would even leave for class fifteen or twenty minutes early so I wouldn't have to rush through conversations with friends. Even then I would still be late for class on occasion (sorry professors!).

College is a phase of life, and so is high school. It was hard to leave those both behind but we have to remember: life is full of people entering and exiting. 

Very rarely does someone stick to you through it all. Everyone has their own lives to lead.

I think the hardest part about moving to a new phase of life is accepting that. Accepting that people change, their priorities change, and that you change.

It's scary.

Really. Fucking. Scary. But it's the truth.

But, another truth for you: Do not let that fear hold you back. 

What I'm saying is all it takes is one leap of faith.

Don't ever say you can't do something or get frustrated when something isn't working out exactly the way that you've planned.

It's up to you to change your circumstances in life. Successful people take chances and risks to hit the top.

Nothing is going to ever be perfect. Perfection is only in movies (and those movies are never the really great ones).

And you know what is also hard to accept: being wrong. You're going to be wrong sometimes. You'll make mistakes and get bumped and bruised on the path of life but you have to keep moving forward.

If this all ends up being a mistake do you think I'm going to go cry in the corner and wallow in pity. Hell fucking no I will not. I'll brush the blood off my knees, stand up, and find a new and better path to go down.

Don't be afraid to conquer life. 

Make life afraid of your blinding determination.

101 Days To Go

Well, here I am. 

I decided that I need to chronicle my journey across the pond. But what good is writing from there without writing from home first? 

So for the next 3 months you'll be reading my desperate attempts to speed the clock up and see firsthand accounts of how extensive this process is. 

In order to fully immerse you in how this all came about we have to turn back the clocks a bit. 

My original plan for grad school was to get my MFA in Creative Writing from San Jose State University. I loved that they had a dual program between Screenwriting and Fiction. After applying to three different schools in 2012 I came up empty. Turns out these schools only really accept about 7 or 8 students each. In my limited research I had no clue the competition  was that intense!

So I came home. I had been living in Camarillo for 3 years by this point. I rarely ever came home so I figured it was good that I was back. Me being the balance for these crazy folks. I took a few classes at the local Community College (so I didn't have to begin paying back my loans) and focused on reading and writing whenever I could. 

Before I knew it I was applying again. My list had been started and it contained twelve schools, mostly state schools since they would be cheapest. I was now fully into research mode, both with the MFA Draft groups on Facebook and just reading school websites. 

I sent in my first application in December. That's when I realized it. The CSU system stopped giving application waivers to graduate school applications. I was floored. Funds had been dwindling after 6 months of being home. I couldn't afford to pay $60 per application so I dwindle by list down to the schools I really wanted to go to. 4 schools.

The night I emailed out my last application I was up and looking at the MFA Draft '13 page again. I saw that most people were applying to tons of schools and I got mad at myself for not being able to do more. That's when I realized some schools were international. After a quick, and I mean super quick, Google search I found a lot of great programs. When I clicked the application page I saw that the applications were free. FREE. So I picked out 4 schools and applied to some more. 

Acceptances floated in from Kingston University, a university 10 minutes outside of London that sits on the Thames, Seton Hill, a small private university in Pennsylvania, and Kent, a smallish university 2 hours outside of London in Canterbury. 

As cool as Seton was there was no way that I was going to pay the same amount there that I would in the UK. That left Kent and Kingston. After being warmly received by the staff at Kingston on facebook and via email I decided on them. It's a bigger school and it's only a 20 minute tube ride to get to London just in case, you know, I want to stalk them as they film Doctor Who or Sherlock (did you know they let fans be EXTRAS?).

So I chose Kingston and I've been preparing myself to go for the past 3 months. 

The plan, as of this moment, is to get my MA in Creative Writing. From there I can move to an MFA or straight into a PhD program. 

Hopefully I get one of the scholarships I applied for. Otherwise I'll be working my ass off while accomplishing all of this. 

So that's the story. 

Am I ready? 

The question should really be, are you? Cause this is gonna happen. And you'll be right beside me. :)

-Amanda MJ